my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
