I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
