Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
