She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
