Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
