Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
