I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We were destined to go to rehab together
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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