I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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