i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
