drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
As shirtless as possible
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
