If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
