How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
