Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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