Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How drunk are you?
Completed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
