His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
