Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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