New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
