she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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