I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize