he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You ruined the universe
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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