She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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