Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You are a genius and a whore.
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