I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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