the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
