What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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