i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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