Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
