I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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