This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
