Nicole vs. Life
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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