I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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