Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
