Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
