and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
