so explain again why im purple
no
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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