i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
