Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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