This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
