yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
