She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
