Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
