My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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