just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize