trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
