Soap is not a condiment
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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