she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
