I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
