You're completely useless in the revolution.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
