You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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