Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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