so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
