I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
