can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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