I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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