who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Randomize
