Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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