i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
